(A quick note: I realize this is a very long post, but it was important for me to tell this story and work through it. It’s been a very therapeutic, healing process to open up about the joys and the challenges of our birth story. With that in mind, while it may be long, this was more for me. Even so, if you decide to venture through it, I hope you enjoy our story.)
For me, Baron’s birth was a lesson in letting go. Not one thing went according to plan. Harlan and I were married for 3 years when we decided to start trying to conceive. Like everyone else, we assumed that it would only take a couple of months. But after 2 years, and no pregnancy, we had basically given up. We started looking into adoption. We didn’t want to spend a lot of money on fertility treatments when that money could go toward adopting a baby who needs a home. In the mean time, we were still talking to our OB, Dr. Tatum, about why I was unable to conceive. At this point there was no explanation – I just wasn’t ovulating. I won’t lie, I was heartbroken every time I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. It was really hard for me because I had 8 friends who were pregnant around me. It seemed as though every time we heard from one of our friends, it was an announcement that they were having a baby. I really wanted to be happy for them, but it just seemed so unfair. In September 2010, Dr. Tatum gave us a prescription for Clomid – a medicine that’s basically supposed to kick-start ovulation. We weren’t sure if we even wanted to take the medicine. At this point, we were pretty set on the adoption. We had finally let go and realized that the whole situation was completely out of our hands. We were thinking, there must be a reason we’re not getting pregnant. There must be a baby out there who God wants in our lives. So we just held on to the prescription and never filled it.
October came around and something seemed different. I had gotten my hopes up too many times, so I really didn’t want to convince myself that I might be pregnant, just to have my heart broken again. But as the month went on and I couldn’t shake the feeling, I decided to take this extra pregnancy test that I had left over from before. I knew (from lots of test-taking) that you’re supposed to take the test first thing in the morning. So I was going to save it for the next morning. At 3 am on October 20, I was awake and couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I finally snuck to the bathroom, hoping not to wake Harlan. I sat there staring at it for the whole testing time, watching a 2nd little pink line slowly appear where I’d never seen one before. I couldn’t believe my eyes. After all this time, my first ever positive pregnancy test. I kept thinking, I must be reading this wrong… But it’s pretty basic. Not a lot of room for error. Eventually I went back to bed and hid the test so Harlan wouldn’t see it. Of course I couldn’t sleep after that. I kept getting up and using my phone as a flashlight to check and make sure the pink line was still there. I decided that come a reasonable hour in the morning, I’d go buy another test and make sure this one wasn’t faulty. I didn’t want to tell Harlan till I was sure. Well, I bought a two-pack which resulted in two more positive tests.
We’re seriously going to get better at this whole blogging thing soon. In the meantime…here’s an interview with Baron. He sat down with Yvette to have a conversation about his reluctance to do interviews, how his day was going, and his taste in music. (Which is apparently not so good at the moment…I’ll work on it.) Stay tuned in for the surprise ending!
Today was an uncharacteristically beautiful day here in dry heat-soaked Fort Worth, so we decided to head out to the park for a little Labor Day picnic. Baron, Yvette and I grabbed a little Central Market goodies and headed toward the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens… Unfortunately, so did everyone else. So after some searching, we found a beautiful little spot near West 7th and the Trinity River. Check out our Labor Day photos below!
Hey all…I know we’re way behind on the baby posting. We’ll get better, I promise. For now, let us assuage your Baron-lust with a little clip of him playing in his bouncer-gym-play-thingy. Enjoy!
We’re in Midland for the weekend visiting Mamaw and Papaw (Harlan’s parents). When we’re at home, I spend most of my time busy with work or whatever project I’ve got going at the time. So today I decided to just relax and enjoy my beautiful boy. I’ve spent the majority of the day in the recliner with Baron asleep on my chest. After staring at him for a while thinking about how beautiful he is, I was inspired to draw him. Harlan brought me some paper and a pen and I started drawing for the first time in a long time. I get so busy with all these random creative projects around the house that I don’t make time for art anymore. Continue Reading
We’re already getting behind on posting regularly…sorry about that. Not a whole lot of news in our world; mostly just watching Baron grow from under 6 pounds to nearly 11 pounds in just a few short weeks. We hit Baron’s 7th week last Tuesday. No, he’s still not sleeping through the night, but comparatively speaking, we’re doing really well.
One fun note for the week is Baron’s first ever road trip this week. He’s made it out to Frisco for a FC Dallas game (a hot, miserable fiasco that we’ll not be attempting again anytime soon), but hasn’t gone any farther than that. So we thought it would be a good time to pack up Bear’s paraphernalia and take him out to Midland to see his Mamaw and Papaw (my parents).
So that’s a little update from us for now. We’ll get better at updating…promise.
Here’s a few pictures for now…we’ll add more when we get home.
We’re a couple of weeks late with this, but nonetheless wanted to share these wonderful photos from Baron’s first photoshoot with Jeremy Enlow. Jeremy is the owner of Steel Shutter Photography, and is the same stellar human being that took our maternity photos a while back. Thanks again Jeremy for taking such wonderful photos of our little man!